Constant Goodbyes
I have been thinking a lot about how we are always saying goodbye. Goodbye to our youth. Goodbye to friends and coworkers as we move to new jobs. Goodbye to loved ones when they die. Goodbye to phases in your relationship when its new and hot and you can’t get enough of one another and you have time and privacy to explore without a care in the world. Goodbye to wearing high heels because it makes my feet and lower back feel broken.
As I tried on outfits for my team’s holiday party today, I said goodbye to a few more dresses and shoes that I know I will no longer wear. Why was I keeping them? I am not the same woman that bought those items years ago.
When I look in the mirror lately I see a different Nora. I am more mature. I have more smiles lines and my jaw and neck is softening. I have more white in my hair. When I look at Pedar and the boys, I see different people too. They keep growing and changing because of time and their experiences. Some of the changes and phases are easier than others to let go of, but I find when I struggle with letting go, and I finally do, I am able to be more in the moment to embrace where we are right now. I don’t want to look back too much, I want to look forward and be here, right now, because that is what I have.
As a Mom, I’ve said goodbye to those precious times when they lived on my hip and I couldn’t leave the room without them noticing. I no longer cuddle with them at night before they fall asleep. They still need me to make dinner, but this morning they got up and made their own breakfast, packed their lunches and were ready before I was even moving about the house. I know I will have to keep saying goodbye to so many of their little habits and routines, but I look forward to the new people they are continually becoming.
I am not able to take anyone or anything with me when I go, so I better put in the time and energy to experience life and love my people as much as I can. If I keep working on being loving and kind, I just know that the moments I do have will be enough.